How to Work With Oppositional Defiance


Praise the person for any positive behavior. When you praise him, let him know exactly what he has done well. For example, "I really like how you calmed down quickly when I asked you."


Create clear rules and consequences at a time when there isn't any conflict. Put the rules and consequences in writing. Involve the person in making them so they can have some ownership.


Show the person you care about him. Take the time to find out what his interests are. At the end of the day, ask him how his day was. People with this disorder sometimes feel others do not care about them. Showing you do is a way to work with them.


Limit all television and video games to one to two hours per day. Since people who are Oppositional-Defiant tend to be explosive, a lot of exposure to video games and television can enhance that.


Change the subject if you suspect the discussion is going to end in an argument. If an argument ensues, give the person two choices: Tell him he can change the subject and stop complaining or leave the room and go somewhere else to complain. Excessive arguing is a symptom of Oppositional Defiance, so avoiding any conversation that may turn into an argument will benefit them.

Having the skills to help one work with Oppositional Defiance can make the difference between things running smoothly and complete chaos. Being able to work with Oppositional Defiance involves careful planning ahead and an awareness of what the symptoms of the condition are. People who have this condition tend to be explosive and feel that they are never wrong or to blame for anything. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to work with someone who is Oppositional-Defiant, there are a few things you can do to help things run smoothly.